Joke of the day
9 months ago
North Carolina, USA

Day 234: Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

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North Carolina, USA

Day 235: I managed to get a good job for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

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North Carolina, USA

I'm done with this because I'm running out of jokes.

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Romania

Ok

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Wisconsin, USA

Noooooo this thread is one of the threads ever😭😭

Edited by the author 1 month ago
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Romania

Alr well ima do one

I always respect my elders, that's why I pulled off my grandparents' life support knowing they hate technology.

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Phayao, Thailand

no more....

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Glamorganshire, Wales

Alright well, I'm going to post the worst joke ever written, whether you do or don't get it you'll be annoyed with me for pasting it in here:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon," says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"

"There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."

"But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "At the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"

"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender

"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"

"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"

"HE'S ON TO US" Mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and outpours a cloud of multicoloured mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.

The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolour hoard. "But wait" he interrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"

"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."

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North Carolina, USA

that reminds me of this

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Ohio, USA

Dang this is depressing.

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Australia

my taste in jokes is ahh so ig i aint helping with reviving this thread back

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CyanWes
He/Him, They/Them
1 month ago

Been a while since I've logged on but I salute you gaming for going with it for so long o7

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Phayao, Thailand

zanum tax

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North Carolina, USA

Thank's everybody for supporting me with these. Uhh...I don't know what else to say.

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Whenever one of my speedrunning friends says they have some irons in the fire, I ask if one of them is a job writing blacksmithing metaphors.

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